a quick step by step guide on what to do if you come back to your apartment and find yourself locked out because your front door is frozen shut
kick the bottom of the door for 10 minutes
text your landlord
remember your landlord is on vacation and also in her mid 50′s so it takes about 36 hours to receive a response
briefly wonder why the fuck you moved the canada
remember that college tuition is significantly cheaper here than in the united states
look up and notice your cat is at the window, staring at you. he paws at the window lightly and meows. it’s devastating. his eyes are so big and imploring. decide that you have to get inside your apartment at all costs. not even god himself can stop you from feeding your cat his chicken wet food dinner. frida kahlo herself could descend from the heavens and ask “hey you wanna bang?” and you’d say “hell yeah but first let me open this door so i can feed my cat his dinner”
remember there is a starbucks 3 blocks down the street from you
enter. the barista gives you a weird look for entering a starbucks at 7pm on a tuesday
order a venti cup of hot water. you order in french because the barista just said “bonjour” instead of “bonjour, hi.” you have a strong american accent. you hit the r in merci a little too hard to compensate. you embarrass yourself.
exit the starbucks clutching the massive cup of hot water in your hands. it’s burning your fingers.
return. methodically pour the starbucks cup of water all over the the door frame. it begins moving a little but still wont open
back up
ensure your doc martens are properly gripping the sheet of ice covering the ground. many people have told you to stop wearing doc martens in the winter, despite your protests that theyre actually the ideal winter boot. also, you’re a lesbian and punk’s not dead
release a pterodactyl screech and sprint towards the door, slamming the full force of your pathetically tiny 5′2″ 110lb body into it
you dont know any of your neighbors so you dont care about maintaining your pride anyways
the door swings open
run up the stairs
open the actual door to your apartment and yell MOMMY’S HOME MY LITTLE BITCHASS BABY BOY DONT WORRY at your cat
cat flings his body to the ground and starts purring like he does every time you come home
Can women be twinks? Can men be butch? Instead of asking these incredibly niche questions ask yourself this, if they weren’t allowed to do so, who would you have enforcing that ruling?
and then, I hope this kind of re-framing opens your eyes about how silly that would be, to enforce as such. But really, this is what they mean when they say “kill the cop in your head.”
What good does it do you to try and police people more?
Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that “don’t affect” us and it seriously breaks my heart
“No I can’t come out tonight I’m sobbing about this entomologist’s heartfelt plea for someone to care about an endangered moth”
This is how I learn there’s a moth whose tiny caterpillars live exclusively off the old shells of dead tortoises.
[Image description: text from a section titled On Being Endangered: An Afterthought that says:
Realizing that a species is imperiled has broad connotations, given that it tells us something about the plight of nature itself. It reminds us of the need to implement conservation measures and to protect the region of which the species is a part. But aside form the broader picture, species have intrinsic worth and are deserving of preservation. Surely an oddity such as C. vicinella cannot simply be allowed to vanish.
We should speak up on behalf of this little moth, not only because by so doing we would bolster conservation efforts now underway in Florida, [highlighting begins] but because we would be calling attention to the existence of a species that is so infinitely worth knowing. [end highlighting]
But is quaintness all that can be said on behalf of this moth? Does this insect not have hidden value beyond its overt appeal? Does not its silk and glue add, potentially, to its worth? Could these products not be unique in ways that could ultimately prove applicable?
End image description]
because we would be calling attention to the existence of a species that is so infinitely worth knowing
I was so inspired by this I made it into a piece of art for a final in one of my courses for storytelling in conservation
A concept in my head that been rolling around a lot:
Hanahaki, but instead of it being triggered by unrequited love, it’s triggered because all the love you have for a person turns inwards because you’re too afraid to show it.
So it kills you, not because someone doesn’t love you back, but because you don’t let it out and all that love you have stored, that could grow into something beautiful, turns on you and turns your insides beautiful.
Love is growth, and without any place for it to grow outside, it grows in. If you confess, reciprocated or not, the disease goes away because it’s no longer trapped. It gives self-destruction a new meaning.
if you’re not obsessed with anything weird and niche please try harder. stop going outside for a while. consider getting weirder about the things you already like
